just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
