I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
you would pick up someone in the library
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Randomize
