I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
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