Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
