omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Why is your signature on my underwear?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
