I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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