im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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