Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
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