he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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