Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
