You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Randomize
