If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
