Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
