last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
