If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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