every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
