Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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