I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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