Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
