Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
