At least make sure they are 18
Why
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
