Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
These tits shall not be calmed
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
