just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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