I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
