Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
