u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
