can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
