the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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