thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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