ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
