would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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