I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
