i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize