oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
