Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
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Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
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Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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