Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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