You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I cannot find my penis.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
porn star boner night. come get it.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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