You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
