Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
