I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
