So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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