Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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