Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
