I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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