i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
