just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
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