Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
