every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?