So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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