yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
