Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize