FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
