Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
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