I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Randomize
