Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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