She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Boobs are out for the taking
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
