So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
now i know why i became what i already was.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
