Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Randomize
