He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
