I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
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