I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
