I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
She bit a glass in half.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
