He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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