if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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