How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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