i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
