I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
