Texts From Last Night

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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.

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  (732): I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa. http://tfl.nu/0g11
  Replies (12) Good night (631) Bad night (3854)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.

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  (978): Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant. http://tfl.nu/yb46
  Replies (37) Good night (11719) Bad night (785)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life

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  (301): in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life http://tfl.nu/47y4
  Replies (34) Good night (7872) Bad night (1905)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.

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  (817): The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down. http://tfl.nu/fg57
  Replies (19) Good night (7086) Bad night (781)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping

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  (973): Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping http://tfl.nu/1og8
  Replies (21) Good night (4918) Bad night (1755)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.

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  (314): I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often. http://tfl.nu/x1ce
  Replies (7) Good night (3222) Bad night (786)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.

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  (417): Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever. http://tfl.nu/md7w
  Replies (30) Good night (12198) Bad night (1203)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot

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  (859): when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot http://tfl.nu/j6dz
  Replies (4) Good night (1560) Bad night (544)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend

  (1-775): View more from Nevada

  I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman

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  (775): He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend (1-775): I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman http://tfl.nu/d80q
  Replies (10) Good night (2552) Bad night (933)
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  (530): View more from California

  My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"

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  (530): My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra" http://tfl.nu/4lmh
  Replies (8) Good night (3738) Bad night (477)
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...

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  (763): Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana... http://tfl.nu/pyu2
  Replies (21) Good night (1915) Bad night (597)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.

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  (941): All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave. http://tfl.nu/74ql
  Replies (3) Good night (636) Bad night (1179)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!

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  (419): So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me! http://tfl.nu/6u48
  Replies (8) Good night (898) Bad night (353)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.

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  (406): Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'. (901): I want there to be fog machines and unicorns. http://tfl.nu/0ciy
  Replies (1) Good night (963) Bad night (722)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.

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  (978): Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home. http://tfl.nu/9m9p
  Replies (8) Good night (1234) Bad night (335)

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