Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one