wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in