Me too!
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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