Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Randomize
